woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
