don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
