So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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