Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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