my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We left an ass print on the piano.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
