Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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