real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize