new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
