he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
