This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
