O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
