once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
