Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
