playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just found a bag of teeth...
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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