so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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