Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
