never play flip cup with pint glasses
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
