I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
