My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
