your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
