well most of my day revolves around power hour
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
