I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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