I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
