I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Randomize
