You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
