Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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