Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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