At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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