I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
