i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
