smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
