he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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