just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize