he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
