yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
