Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
