it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Randomize
