I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
