and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
