He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
