it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
