Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
