I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm going to jail i love you
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
