READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Four minutes until I can fart!
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
