Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
