their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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