did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
