btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
