Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
