just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
