im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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