so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
