Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
where are my eyebrows?
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