I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
