making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
im calling her cock vulture from now on
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
