problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
