Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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