Well apparently he's into motor boating.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
