I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
