He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
