he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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