is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
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