Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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