I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
